my husband called me a ‘b’ grader


The other day, my adult son asked my husband and I for some relationship advice. We were perched up in bed drinking our morning coffee when my son came into the room and asked, “How important is physical attraction in a relationship?” My husband replied “Son, you are better off going for a ‘B grader’ like (Pointing hesitantly in my direction) rather than aiming for a ‘high maintenance’ super model who can’t eat this, won’t touch that, and wouldn’t dare get her hands dirty or have the capacity to ram a shovel into the earth and pull off a hard day’s work.”

Perhaps in that moment I should have been offended but I wasn’t. Being called a ‘B grader’ was actually a compliment. What my husband meant was that I am approachable, down to earth, and not afraid to roll up my sleeves and get down and dirty. I know that I was not born looking like Miranda Kerr nor was I given the life of a princess. I am a physically strong woman with definite features, a strong will and free thinking mind. I am not prissy and I repel the ‘damsel in distress’ archetype. I am happy being a B grader however I make sure that I am the best possible B grader I can be.

Being ‘exceptionally average’ means making the most of the assets you possess. You have something uniquely beautiful and exquisite about you. It may be your smile, your sparkling eyes, your shapely legs or the colour of your skin. Whatever it is that you ‘like’ about yourself, do your best to enhance it and flaunt it. Once you have nailed the physical aspect of being exceptionally average, it is time to work on the internal aspect. This is all about your ‘attitude’. Firstly, you need to ‘believe’ that you are exceptional. Before you can ‘conceive it’, you have to ‘believe it’. It all starts with your thinking.

The difference between being a B- or a B+ comes down to how well you can tame your inner critic. There is always going to be a voice in your head that says ‘You’re not that great.’ ‘Who do you think you are to be doing that?’ This is your cautionary voice and also your saboteur. If you actively listen to and obey this voice, you will be paralysed by fear and never reach your potential. The trick here is to allow that voice to pass through your mind. Resisting it or scolding yourself is useless. The shadow side of your ego will never go away however you can learn to manage it.

The more you empower yourself by listening to your inner groupie, the part of you that encourages you and spurs you on, the more exceptional you will become. When you doubt yourself, look to the voice that says ‘Come on, you can do this.’ What is the worst that can happen? Even if you make a fool of yourself, it will be forgotten in 24 hours giving way for the next person to take the stand. Don’t concern yourself with what other people think of you. Believing in yourself is a choice. Take the first step and do something exceptionally average. Take a risk and when that risk pays off, you will be well on the way to taking another and another.

Noni Boon

2 thoughts on “my husband called me a ‘b’ grader

  • Beautiful testimonial of what life really is about. I so agree with your husband Noni and with you of course. However, I know you a bit and I met you….and from your look to your generosity, your loving attitude, your patience, your devotion to so many people around you….you get a A++ from me!

    • Oh Christine Marmoy. I love how you rate me. I’ll run with A++ on attitude. You have the same qualities and then some. Sending you all my love from down under. xoxoxoxxo

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